He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
