I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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