I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
