I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
