went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
