Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
