I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
