stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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