my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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