I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
