sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
