Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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