I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Its about making memories worth repressing
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
