Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
