Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
