Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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