my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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