I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
