He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
