feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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