BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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