ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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