Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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