Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
