ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
