i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
