i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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