Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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