I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
