someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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