All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
