i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just had sex on a roof
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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