I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
