I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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