girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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