what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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