I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
