if you like me you must not know who I am
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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