There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I supernannyed him into submission
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
