i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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