he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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