He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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