her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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