I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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