Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
