Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
