so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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