hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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