It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
they're like a gay fantastic four
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Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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