what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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