So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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