3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
