You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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