but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
