I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
