she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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