Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
